The thirty things I am thankful for this November, and every other day of my life.

1.  Having a place to post my ramblings, even if no one else reads them (someone else reading them is both thrilling and terrifying).

2.  Our house.  It’s a love/hate kinda thing, but I’ll just focus on the love.  I recognize that so many others in the world would be thrilled with this house that, at times, drives me insane.  Despite it’s faults, I am happy to have a roof over my head.  It’s in our home town, close to our families, and the first place we called our own.

3.  My job.  I didn’t plan on going into the electronics industry.  As a matter of fact, I specifically planned not to.  My mom was in it while I was growing up, and I could not have been less interested in it.  But I started working with her part-time when I was 17.  And I kept working there part-time while I was in college.  When I dropped out of college, it became full-time.  Truth be told, it was a boring job, working on an assembly line.  But I slowly worked my way up from one department to another, and 19 years later – minus a couple breaks – I’m running the documentation department (in a different company, but working with the same people).  Rather than being an annoying quirk that gets in the way, my perfectionism is an asset.  It’s a good job, and I’m good at it.  And I love the people I work for and with.  It’s a laid back environment where a dirty joke gets laughed at instead of reprimanded (as long as a customer isn’t visiting).  There have been times in my life where getting out of bed every day was a chore, but I can honestly say that it has been a very long time since I have dreaded going to work.

4.  The internet.  I’m part of the last generation to not grow up with the computers being everywhere.  We got our first one when I went to college and a word processor wasn’t going to cut it anymore.  My first experience with the internet was AOL dial up.  Today, I can’t imagine life without a computer and the internet.  I use it daily, at work and at home.  I am not a constant contact person (Nick thinks it’s weird that I don’t carry my phone from room to room with me), but I am grateful that the internet lets me stay in contact with the people I love, no matter where they are.  I also love that it lets me feed my geeky/nerdy obsessions.

5.  Social media. I know this is sort of a branch off of the internet,but I felt that it deserved its own entry.  One, because it’s another love/hate thing (but I’ll set aside the annoying, and focus on the positive), and second, because it has not only let me stay in contact with the friends and family I miss, it also led me to a new friendship with someone who I had been acquainted with for years, but didn’t know well.  We have several mutual friends, but had never hung out together.  We discovered that we are scarily similar, thanks to geeky/nerdy posts and pissed off rantings, and a new friendship blossomed.  (And third, let’s not forget how much of a geeky fan girl it allows me to be.)

6.  Camera phones.  Sure, they can be used for evil.  Why teenagers think taking pictures of every stupid thing they do is a good idea is beyond me.  And why even adults think sexting is going to end in anything but public embarrassment is equally beyond me.  But when used for good, they allow people to capture the fascination this world has to offer every day.  Very few of us would carry a digital (or even a film) still camera and video camera around with us every day, even if we had the means to do so.  Personally, my camera phone has allowed me to capture some adorable moments with my dogs, some of which are no longer with us.  I will forever be grateful that I have those frozen moments, even if they do make me teary.

7.  My brain.  That probably sounds conceited, but I don’t give a shit.  I don’t have a great body, or a gorgeous face, but I have smarts, and I’m proud of it.  I’m a nerd and a geek, and I’m proud of that, too.  I love math and science and english and…well, if I won the lottery, and never had to work again, I think I would just go to college for the rest of my life.  I love to learn.

8.  Traveling.  I don’t do it nearly enough of it, but I love it.  Getting Nick to cross an ocean is going to either take a lot of drugs or the Queen Mary II, but eventually, I will get him to Europe.  And Hawaii (which will likely require a cruise ship).  I have loved every trip we have taken, even if he was working the whole time.  Spending time in a new city is fascinating.  And even the ones we have visited multiple times offer a new experience and new places to explore each time we go.  Scratch going to college for the rest of my life.  I’d split it between college and traveling.  And the reason I wouldn’t spend all my time traveling is because…

9.  Coming home.  Nothing makes me appreciate home like traveling.  Getting back to the familiar and routine is comforting.  And I miss my puppies and my family and my friends.  And, honestly, after a while, eating in restaurants gets a bit old.

10.  Our dog trainer.  I cannot possibly express how awesome Helen at No Monkey Business is.  Quite frankly, Ellie was a bit of nightmare when she was a puppy (maybe nightmare is a little harsh.  But she was certainly the most trying puppy I have ever had.  By several miles).  There were days I didn’t want to go home because it meant barking and biting and finding destroyed stuff and biting and running and biting and jumping and biting and a short nap and oh-you-thought-I-was-done-no-more-biting.  Helen was simply amazing.  She gave us the methods and skills to work through the hard times, so we could enjoy the great dog Ellie really is.  And when we got Remy, and she had some fearfulness of and aggression towards other dogs, Helen once again gave us wonderful advise, and today, Remy is incredibly dog friendly.  I will forever be thankful that I met Helen, for making us and our girls happier.

11.  Puppy play days.  Watching them interact with each other makes me smile and laugh almost the whole time we are there.  But my favorite thing about them is…

12.  Sleepy puppies.  My motto, since getting Ellie, is a tired puppy is a good puppy.  When they are worn out, they are far less likely to shred a wallet.  Or a pair of shoes.  Or a couch.

13.  Fall in New England.  I’m a four seasons girl, but fall is my favorite time of year.  The weather gets cooler, and then cold enough to wear hoodies and sweaters.  The world goes from lush and green to bursting with color.  I can bake again.  The smell of wood smoke and dead leaves fill the air.  And I can open the doors and windows.  At least for a little while.

14.  Rainy days.  There is no better excuse to curl up on the couch with a book and a puppy than rain days.  None.  Which reminds me…

15.  Books.  I love, love, love to read.  The imaginations of others will forever fascinate me.  A good book will suck me in for weeks after I am done reading it (one of the reason I am such a fan of series).  I find myself returning to those worlds long after the last page had turned.

16.  All things geeky.  Doctor Who, anything done by Kevin Smith, Dexter, comic books and comic book movies, Firefly, Veronica Mars, movies based on my favorite books (even if they never do them justice)…the list is endless.  I cannot get enough of it.  And though I may never dress up and go to Comicon (even though I secretly want to), I am a giant fan girl.

17.  My in-laws (and holy shit, are there a lot of them).  I come from a highly dysfunctional family.  People (lots of people) don’t speak to each other for decades, sometimes over actual slights, sometimes over “life-style choices,” sometimes over petty crap.  Nick’s family has very little of that.  For the most part, they are the most loving, tightly knit family I have ever met.  And more than that, they are just wonderful people.  They made me feel like a part of that family from the moment I walked through the door.  It’s a bit surreal to be part of a family that doesn’t let petty crap get in the way of loving one another.  But in a wonderful way.

18.  Christmas.  My cynical side takes a back seat around Christmas.  I love it.  I love that people are  a little nicer to each other.  I love driving around looking at the lit-up houses at night.  I love having an excuse to bake for people.  I even love the snow.  But the thing I love most is…

19.  Ravioli Day.  Hands down, my favorite day of the year.  The Sunday before Christmas (or sometimes, 2 Sundays before, depending on what day Christmas falls on), my mother-in-law’s entire family (did I mention they’re Italian?) gathers at her mother’s old farm house for a Christmas party, that we collectively and loving refer to as Ravioli Day.  Why?  Because we start the day by making ravioli from scratch.  We hand knead the dough (which has, somehow, become my thing), roll it into sheets, fill ’em, cut ’em, fork ’em and cook ’em.  Nick is a late sleeper, so I have my dad drop me off in the morning so I don’t miss anything.  I spend the entire morning with Nick’s aunts, cousins, mom and grammie, cooking, talking, singing and laughing.  Nothing beats spending the day with these women, who I love, admire and thoroughly enjoy.  At some point, when we can get everyone, or almost everyone, to stop for a minute, we have a cookie swap (there are oh, so many wonderful bakers in this family).  And then the dining table is loaded with spinach and sausage ravioli, cheese ravioli, sausage, meatballs, braciole, bread and salad (but, seriously, who wastes room on salad?), we gather around the table for a toast, usually lead by Uncle Bob, and then tuck in.  After dinner, we have a gift swap, but not before Auntie Pam makes us sing a few Christmas carols.  Cards are passed out, names are picked for next year (someone makes an ornament with each person’s name on it every year), and we eat dessert (cheese cake, birthday cake, cream puffs, cookies, zuccotto…).  And then we head home and enjoy the food coma.

20.  Spring.  Aside from Christmas and Ravioli day, I’m not much of a fan of winter.  I love the cold weather and snow for the holidays, but after New Years, winter just gets me down.  It’s dark when I go to work and dark by the time I get home.  I get gloomy cabin fever about mid January, when the weather is at its coldest.  So, when the day finally lasts longer than my workday, and the temperatures have risen to a balmy 35, I’m ecstatic.  And watching the green starts to creep back into the dreary world again banishes the last of my gloominess.

21.  My family.  The term dysfunctional doesn’t do it justice, but again, focusing on the positive.  Despite our inability to act like a family, I still love them.  Well most of them.  I may want to knock their heads together from time to time when they refuse to see or speak to each other, but I’m still happy I have them.  I wish the petty (and not so petty) crap that seems to continually erupt did not keep us from seeing each other, like the 2 amazing cousins I lost contact with over 20 years ago, only seeing each other again at our grandmother’s funeral (where I discovered they are even more amazing, and beautiful, and far too cool to be related to me).  Perhaps someday we will act more like a family.  In the meantime, I am thankful for the moments when we put our bullshit aside, and at least tolerate each other.  I’m also thankful there haven’t been any fistfights as weddings or funerals.

22.  My friends.  I may not have a large number of them (I’ve never been very good at making new friends), but the ones I have are tremendously important to me.  Some I see every day.  Some I see only a few times a year.  A couple live very far away, and I only get to see them once a year.  And a few live very close (and I still only get to see them once a year).  I am thankful for all of the time I have been able to spend with all of them.  I’m thankful for all the times they have made me laugh.  I am thankful that they have been there for me during the tough times, and that they have allowed me to be there for them during theirs.

23.  Alone time.  Sometimes, I just need to be by myself, doing my own thing for a while.  I don’t get enough of it these days.  I feel like there is always someone I need to see or something I need to do or a dog who needs something (or just can’t bear to be without me).  But I relish the time I do get, like the days I get to drive to work alone.  I can drive in quiet reflection, or sing at the top of my lungs.  Speaking of which…

24.  Singing.  It still scares the hell out of me, but I’m so happy I finally worked up the nerve to sing in front of people.  I owe a lot to my singing coach Tony, who guided me and encouraged me and taught me.   Now, I just need to not stand stock still while I’m singing.

25.  My Nana.  Without a doubt, the greatest lady I have ever known.  And the greatest female influence in my life.  She had a rough go of it at times:  a husband whose gambling and alcoholic addictions left her with very little money to feed and clothe their 8 children, and the worst arthritis I have ever seen, her hands gnarled and her feel swollen.  But despite her hardships, she was a happy woman.  I never heard her angry or depressed about her lot.  I never knew her to be bitter.  And even with her arthritis, she took care of her aging mother for years.  She was a stubborn ass and crotchety as hell if you pissed her off.  But I always remember her with a smile on her face, and remembering her always puts a smile on mine.

26.  My Dad.  I am incredibly close to my dad.  I see him every day.  I have breakfast with him on the weekends.  We talk for hours about anything and everything.  We have profoundly different views on a lot of things, and passionately debate them.  Making him laugh is one of my favorite things.  He has been an amazing father.  I hope he lives to be 100.

27.  Remy.  Despite the fact that her pounds per square inch make it feel like someone is ramming a steel rod thru my leg (or stomach, or chest) whenever she steps on me, I adore that little dog.  She wakes up wagging her entire body so much I swear she is going to pull a muscle one day.  Joy is in everything she does, chasing a ball, rolling around on the floor, going for a ride (unless she sees another dog.  Then it sounds like she wants to rip out their throat, but it’s just because she’s excited).  She will watch YouTube videos for hours.  She’s completely content just to hang out in her kennel.  She gets excited at the sound of little kids.  And when she runs, you can see she pours her whole heart into it.  And she has a ton of heart.  I’m so happy we got her, despite the 3 months of peeing everywhere in the house.

28.  Ellie.  My challenging puppy.  She taught me to be more patient and more understanding.  She made me be a better person and a better dog owner.  All of which I am grateful for.  On top of all that, she turned into a wonderful dog.  She’s adorable and goofy and funny and smart (too smart, way too fucking smart) and sweet.  She is the most exuberant dog I have ever known.  Knowing she is about to get a a simple milk bone (the little ones, and not even a whole one, at that) or a piece of carrot causes her to drool to the point that there is a visible wet spot on the carpet, and when she starts chewing them, it causes her saliva the foam around the edge of her mouth.  She “swims” in the living room, on her back, pushing herself off of one surface after another.  If I am sitting on the couch, and Nick starts walking down the hall, she jumps up on the couch and starts frantically licking my face, like “HE’S COMING!”  She gets so excited over some new toys, she groans and grumbles the entire time she’s chewing on them.  Everything is something to be excited about (except if the ceiling fan turns off, fuck that thing, it’s evil).  She makes me laugh every single day.  She loves her people fiercely (probably too much), all of them.  And even though I may, on occasion, threaten to have her voice box removed when she’s having a barking fit, I wouldn’t trade her for anything.  I love my goofy girl.

29.  And true to my save-the-best-for-last habits, I am thankful for my husband.  Simply put, he’s amazing.  He is strong and hard-working and impossibly funny.  He is what I refer to as the perfect amount of asshole (I don’t want a guy who’s too nice, but I also don’t want a guy who’s a complete prick.  I want nice, but not a push over, and not afraid to be a prick when the need arises).  He will do anything to make me laugh, no matter how annoying, politically incorrect, or just plain wrong it is.  He is a complete push over when it comes to our pups (I am definitely the mean parent).  He has a great relationship with my dad (it’s a little scary how similar they are at times).  He is always there for me, always supports me, and always always always makes me feel loved (and, somehow, beautiful).  And, on top of all that, he’s adorable.  I am grateful for everything that he does and all that he is.

30.  Every.  Single.  Day.  Some days, I think I would have been better off if I just stayed in bed.  Some days, migraines make it impossible for me to do anything.  Some days, the dogs insist of destroying the dish towels.  Or my shoes.  Or the couch.  But I’m still thankful for them all.  Especially the good ones (cough ravioli day cough).  Because they let me experience everything else on this list.