Nick was already a smoker when I met him.  He had started when he was only 15.  Just a few a day at first, while in high school.  Then a pack a day.  Eventually, a carton a week.

I always hated that he smoked.  His clothes sometimes smelled like stale cigarette smoke and kissing him within 10 minutes of smoking a cigarette was similar to what I imagine licking an ashtray must taste like (I never understood how anyone could get past that smell and flavor enough to smoke a second cigarette).  But mostly I hated it because I knew it wasn’t good for him, and so did he.  We are not slim or active individuals, and smoking on top of that put him at so much risk for…just about everything.  But I knew that he wasn’t ready to give up smoking.  Being a life-long dieter, I had learned from experience that if you do something you aren’t ready to do, just to make someone else happy, it won’t stick.  So even though I wanted him to not die a horrible, preventable death, I never asked him to quit.  I told myself he would do it when he was ready.  Maybe when we had kids (…).

When we moved into our new house, I asked him not to smoke inside.  I had grown up in a house where everyone smoked except me.  I hated the way everything smelled, including my clothes (my doctor once asked me if I started smoking, because my shirt reeked).  And it left a residue on everything (clothes hanging in the closet that went unworn for a long period of time would develop sickly yellowish brown lines down the sides of them (I can only imagine what my lungs looked like).  We compromised, and he switched to a different type of cigarette (it steamed the tobacco instead of burned it) that didn’t make the entire house stink of stale smoke and leave a gross film on everything (they smelled like burning paper, and that smell disappeared as soon as it was out).  The company said they were not claiming they were a healthier cigarette, but the science did show that people who smoked them got less of…just about everything that comes out of a cigarette (including nicotine).  They cost 25% more than regular cigarettes, but I didn’t care.  It was a step in the right direction.

His mom asked him to quit a few times.  She bought him the gum one year for Christmas (he could not stand the taste of it), and the patch another (it made his arm tingle while he was sleeping, which scared the crap out of both of us).  And he even tried cold turkey a couple times.  It made him angry and even more stressed out than usually.  All.  The.  Time.  And then there was the issue with not having anything to occupy his hands and mouth while not smoking.  It drove him insane.  He tried gum and lollipops and carrot sticks, and it just wasn’t enough to keep his mind from focusing on what wasn’t there.  Plus (and this I have never been able to wrap my head around), he enjoyed smoking, and he missed it.  It was just too much pressure on his already overworked, overstressed, overburdened life.  I think the record was 3 days.

We had lived in our house for 8 years when my father went to the doctor for his yearly check-up, and they had trouble getting a blood pressure reading from his left arm.  A smoker for over 50 years (he started at the ripe old age of 12), he was diagnosed with Peripheral Artery Disease in his neck and arm.  That was when I did something I swore I would never do – asked Nick to quit smoking.  Seeing the toll smoking had taken on my father scared the hell out of me.  Nick had already been smoking for close to 20 years and I knew the longer he smoked, the harder it was going to be for him to quit – and the higher the price his body would eventually pay.

I made up a spreadsheet with a list of all the things he would be able to afford if he quit smoking (20 movies on iTunes or 2 pairs of Vans a week; the monthly payment for a Civic SI; enough gas to drive to LA and back…7 times a year).  But he still wasn’t ready.  He was still under a lot of pressure and he still (guh) enjoyed smoking.  But he knew how worried I was about his health.  So he decided to try vaping.  (And if I’m being honest, the fact that vaping is much cheaper than smoking played a large part.)

A little about vaping, for those that have no idea what I’m talking about.  Vaping allows someone to get nicotine without smoking a cigarette.  A vaper (person) uses a vaporizer [aka PV (personal vaporizer), mod, or electronic cigarette) to heat a liquid [vegetable glycerin (VG) or propylene glycol (PG)] containing nicotine and some flavoring (aka juice) to create vapor (ethereal cloud), which they then inhale, delivering the nicotine into their body without the smoke and carcinogens.  Unlike the patch and gum, it allows vapers (people) to occupy their mouths and hands in much the same way they do when they smoke a cigarette.  Okay, back to the story.

Nick immersed himself in the online vaping community, which is kind of amazing.  Although there can sometimes be a bit of drama, bitchiness and cliquey-ness, they are generally incredibly supportive of each other and willing to help new people with anything they need (kinda reminds me of roller derby).  They are also incredibly vigilant about making sure manufacturers are responsible and safe (they are, as a group, the most knowledgeable – and vocal – consumers I have ever seen).  He watched videos and talked to people and read.  And made me watch videos and read.

But still, he struggled.  The juice he started out with had too much nicotine.  He had trouble finding juice flavors he liked.  The mods he used at first didn’t feel right in his hands.  The VG/PG ratio he used in the beginning gave him headaches.  Then it was the dehydration.  A couple of jerks in the online community pissed him off.  After a couple months of struggling, he got frustrated and gave up.  Smoking was just…easier.

Several months later, I bugged him about it again.  I hate being a naggy wife, but this wasn’t leaving his socks in the living room, it was his life.  He decided to give it another shot.  He reconnected with the community, tried lots of juices until he found a bunch he liked, found smaller mods that kept his hands busy, changed his VG/PG ratio and drank tons of water.  And, probably most importantly, he changed his outlook.  Instead of being frustrated that he still needed to smoke cigarettes at certain times (first thing in the morning and after dinner were especially tough for him), he started concentrating on how many cigarettes he hadn’t smoked that day.  It was a little mind boggling seeing that number (and the money savings) add up.

Eventually, he found a juice that he liked with his morning coffee.  And then one night, he told me that he had only two cigarettes left.  He was going to smoke one that night, after dinner, and one the next.  And that was it.  He wasn’t buying any more.  When the dogs went ballistic and interrupted him the first night, he was a bit cranky.  The next night, he told me if he didn’t get to smoke his last cigarette ever in peace, he was going to go buy another pack.  I made sure the dogs stayed calm.

That was a year ago, today.  I was so proud of him (and happy and relieved) when he stopped smoking completely.  It took time, and effort, and determination for him to stick with it.  Lighting a cigarette takes seconds.  Vaping requires forethought, and planning, and lots of investigation and trial and error to find a set up that works.  I’m even more proud of him for sticking with it for a whole year (blowing his previous record of 3 days – 3 horrible, miserable, I-didn’t-know-he-could-be-that-much-of-a-dick days – out of the water).  In the last year, I’ve seen his smoker’s cough go away and his sense of taste come back.  I’ve watched him try to help my parents quit smoking (my mom now vapes during the day and smokes at night.  My dad, who needs to quit smoking more than either of them, is still…resistant).  I’ve noticed his sensitivity to second hand smoke (and mine) go way up.  Our house no longer smells like burning paper.  Now it usually smells like fruit.

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As proud as I am of him, his anniversary isn’t the only reason I’m writing this.  He and I both know that without vaping, it probably would’ve been years before he quit smoking, if he was ever able to.  And without it, he will likely not stay a non-smoker.  But unfortunately, vaping is being targeted, at the community level, at the state level, and federally.  A lot of communities are pushing (and many have succeeded) for vapers to be restricted to smoking areas, the worst place for them.  Would it be smart (or kind) to hold an AA meeting in a bar?  Some communities are even trying to kick vape stores out of their towns, while still allowing tobacco shops to remain open.  Earlier this year, New York State proposed a law to ban the sale of juice (it was not passed).  And federally, the proposed legislation will cause so much red tape for manufacturers, that most of them (almost all those who are not part of the tobacco industry) will no longer be able to afford to create products.

Some of this is because people are scared of the health risks.  Is vaping 100% safe?  No, and no one is claiming that it is.  Is it safer than tobacco?  Absolutely.  Cigarettes contain at least 81 carcinogens, e-liquids contain trace amounts of a few of them.  There hasn’t been a lot of scientific study on the health effects of vaping yet, and it’s so new, there are no life-long vapers to see what tolls it may take on someone who does it for 40 years.  But why, if buying, selling and consuming tobacco, which is far worse for one’s health, is still legal, should it be illegal to buy, sell or consume vaping products?

Some of the proposed legislation is because some people feel vaping is targeting kids.  They argue fruity flavored juices should not be legal, because it will make vaping more desirable to children, and only tobacco flavored juice should be available (because only kids would prefer the taste of an apple over an ashtray).  Yet, vodka now comes in an array of fruit flavors, which is perfectly acceptable.  (I would also argue that anyone who makes a living selling vaping products would be insane to sell to a kid, and they know it.  It would put their entire business at risk.  A lot of stores card at the door, and will not admit anyone under 18.)

Should there be some regulation?  Yes.  Nicotine is a drug, and it is being ingested, so, yes, there have to be some safeguards put in place.  But it should not be regulated to the point that the industry will almost completely collapse, leaving only the crappy products sold by companies that made their billions selling the very thing vapers are trying to get away from.  The regulations should be created and enacted in a way that will allow the hundreds of companies and stores in this country to continue to support the community they serve.

In the mean time, the industry has taken some steps of their own.  There is already a voluntary association to monitor juice manufacturing (manufacturers who join have to meet the standards set by the association, and can then label their products as such, to let consumers know).  And the community is not shy about calling out any manufacturer doing anything (using non-child proof bottles, packaging that looks like it’s made for kids, putting food coloring or other unnecessary additives into juices, etc) that is bad for the industry.  They know it’s in their own best interest.

Many vapers, like my husband, may never have quit smoking if vaping was not an option.  Many of them tried the gums and the patches and the drugs (my father tried wellbutrin once.  He got to feel suicidal while smoking 2 packs a day) and still ended up smoking for years.  People who smoked for 30, 40, 50 years, finally quit.  And if vaping is no longer an option, what will happen to the majority of them?

I’m obviously biased.  But I’m also rational and logical.  And as long as tobacco is still readily available, vaping needs to be, too.